oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
