just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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