You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
