I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i think my mom watched the whole time
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
