the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
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