another moral hangover. fuck.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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