Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
