So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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