Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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