We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
