I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize