We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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