He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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