i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
