If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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