i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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