Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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