She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
