The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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