i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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