i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
