What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
