No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
