Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize