Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
