I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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