But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
