Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
