Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I don't deserve a penis
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
