Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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