I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
