i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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