this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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