I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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