I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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