suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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