He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize