I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
