i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
now i know why i became what i already was.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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