think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
