that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
