I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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