You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
