hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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