Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
