Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
