Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
