Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
