I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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