wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize