okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
