you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
