Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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