So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
