Your tits are I can't wait for
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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