That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
