I skipped work to stalk him.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
