I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
