see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
