you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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