have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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