Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
