Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
